Why 'How Was School?' Doesn't Work (And What to Do Instead)"
You ask how her day was. She says "fine." You try again. Another one-word answer. And just like that, the window closes.
If you've ever felt the frustration of wanting to connect with your teenage daughter only to be met with silence, this episode is for you.
Today we explore the first step in my 4Cs Method for better conversations with teens: Connect—and why it must come before we ask a single question.
You'll hear:
Why questions backfire with teenage girls (even when you genuinely care)
The coaching principle that transformed how I communicate with teens: Heart, Head, Action
What neuroscience tells us about creating psychological safety
Simple observations that open doors instead of closing them
The invisible signal that tells your daughter she's safe with you
Plus: Your practical tool for this week—Pause to Connect—a simple 5-step practice you can use today to shift how your daughter responds to you.
Key Insight:
Connection isn't about words. It's about presence. When we rush to questions, we land in the head. But your daughter—especially after a long school day—is still in her heart, navigating emotions, friendships, and hormones.
When we connect first, we signal safety. And only then does real communication begin.
Your Practice This Week:
Before you ask any question, pause. Take one slow breath. Notice her state—calm, rushed, quiet, tense? Offer one simple connection cue: a kind observation, a light comment, warm presence. Only then—and only if she seems open—move to your question.
You'll know it's working - not because she suddenly tells you everything - but because she stays a little longer in the conversation. That's progress.
Coming Next Week: The Second Step: Coach — how to guide her thinking with curiosity rather than control.
* Listen now and discover the one thing that changes everything in your conversations with your teenage daughter.
